The Price of Victories and Losses
by FallingT
Summary: Shepard prepares to cure the Genophage once and for all, struggles with some anger and then...has to say / Featuring the Mother of all Trasher Maws and a Reaper.


Written with the prompt: "Are you sure this will work?" (or: the question everyone always asks Shepard)

It turned out the the Genophage was, apparently, easier to cure than anyone would have anticipated. With Mordin working on it, and the information contained in Maelon's researches, however brutal, the results came quickly. There were also very high probabilities that the cure would be a hundred percent effective and, at the same time, the procedure would not result too much invasive and produce side effects on Eve, who was on the way of a total recover. Shepard was pleased to hear it, and spent almost every free moment she had in the MedBay, chatting away with Eve (as Mordin had aptly nicknamed the Krogan in the absence of a real name) while the Professor talked to himself out loud as he worked. Valery was not surprised to learn that both Eve, and the other females, had offered themselves voluntarily for the Salarian experiments back on Tuchanka, but she definitely was impressed by their endurance. She said as much to her newfound friend, adding that she wasn't sure she could sacrifice that much for her own race, but Eve promptly reminded her that no, she wasn't sacrificing herself for humanity, she was doing it for the whole galaxy. And that was a whole other level of impressive.  
Shepard liked Eve.

Time ticked away fast aboard the Normandy, and everyone could feel the tension raising with each passing hour spent idle. And so, off the SR-2 went, to help wherever she was needed most.  
Which was, apparently, in the middle of a fucking Rachni nest. The only good thing that came out of there had been Grunt, that huge, adorable Krogan that Shepard looked at as a some kind of son.  
Weird, but true.  
The ship returned to Krogan space just a day before the cure was due, day that they spent on ground, helping out the Primarch son in order to avoid yet _another_ interspecies conflict.  
Needless to say, young Lieutenant Victus did _not_ return home.  
By the time Mordin was ready to deliver, the Commander already had a strategy in place for their joined effort: a turian air strike to distract the surprise left by the reapers (a motherfucking destroyer, no less), and a ground attack led by the krogans. Once that problem was solved, they would only need to disperse the cure via the Shroud, the same facility from where the Genophage had been originally spread.  
The twists of fate uh.

To say Valery was pissed would be an understatement. Her blood was boiling in her veins as her mind played and replayed the Dalatrass' words over and over again. The gall she had had! She may have ignored her ignorance and closed mindedness of her ways regarding the genophage had she not implied that she should have stopped Mordin _in some way_! Did she really think Valery would put the whole Salarian race before Mordin's life (and krogan support)? It was unbelievable, and the only thing she had appreciated of the conversation, had been Joker severing the connection midway through.

Now she had all this pent up adrenaline to burn and was in dire need to shoot something. Or a really high number of some things.

'Commander, what is that troubles you so?' Eve's voice drew her out of her own seething rage. She had tried to spill the bean earlier, on the shuttle, but had been interrupted.

Valery rose her eyes to look at the krogan, rage barely contained in her clenched fists.

'The Dalatrass tried to cut a deal with me' she said in between barred teeth.

The air in the truck stilled for a second before she could continue.

'She said that the Shroud has been tampered with by STG's agents, something about a temperature malfunction, and offered me Salarian support if I… _faked_ the cure, somehow' she trailed off, unable to meet anyone's eyes.

'Classic STG maneuver, will be easy to bypass' Mordin chimed in, seemingly unpreoccupied by the minor setback in their plans.

'What did you say to the Dalatrass?' Eve asked, obviously interested in the follow up of the story.

'I hope you refused, Shepard' Wrex all but growled out, and Shepard's head snapped up, her expression bordering the outraged.

'Of course I refused! What she was asking was nothing short of mass murdering, I'm not that kind of person, Wrex. You should know that!' she shot back, her usual composure lost to her anger and indignation.

Wrex's laugh broke the tension between them, and Valery could feel her shoulders relax under the armor.

The conversation died soon enough when the trucks came to a stop; a setback on the road, it was impossible for them to continue that way.  
Valery hurried around from scout to scout to try and solve the problem, but it seemed that her plans would not go the right way: the turian air strike was already inbound on the target and could not retreat.  
It was so much unsurprising that Shepard didn't even lose a beat, and ordered the convoy to proceed anyway, while she, along with Garrus and James, would find an alternative route to the rendezvous point. Said alternative route, turned out to be a series of underground corridors that led in a series of chambers.  
 _The City of the ancients_ , as Eve had called it, was said to be the lair of a creature that no one would ever wish to encounter, namely, the Mother of all Tresher Maws. How lovely.  
'You know it's bad when a krogan mentions a Tresher Maw…' Garrus muttered in the exact same moment the earth began to shake. Shepard shot him a glare, as if the maw had been summoned by his words.  
'If that's what's down here, I'd like to back up' James declared as his torch lit a part of a wall that was covered in what seemed to be a rudimental drawing of a giant maw.  
Valery shuddered at the thought and hurried her party along. She, too, wanted out.

 _Out_ apparently meant _in the fray_ , because the moment they stepped out from the dead city, they were met with an abundant resistance that, paired with Wrex's jokes over the comms, did nothing to sedate her irritation.

It was only when they were face to face with the Reaper destroyer that Shepard understood the magnitude of what she was about to do.  
Not only had she agreed upon curing a whole species in order to prevent their probable extinction, but now, in order to provide a distraction for the Professor to do so, she had to run _towards_ the giant, metallic bug that could crush her without a thought to try and summon Kalros, the _Mother of all Tresher Maws_.  
 _Oh fucking hell…_  
'Are you sure this will work?' Garrus asked from beside her, voicing her own line of thoughts.

Valery grimaced to herself, but turned to offer a stretched smile to her lover.

'Honestly? We've probably done crazier things' she answered, amusement finding its way in her voice despite everything.

She was also pretty sure that, by the end of this war, they would have done even _more_ crazier things than this.

'Speak for yourselves, thanks' was James dry rebuke from somewhere behind her, and she turned to see him walk to them, hands clutched tight on the rifle and eyes trained on the reaper.

'Ah! I'm sure you'll get used to it in no time!' Wrex laughed, joining them outside the truck. Mordin and Eve followed behind him.

'That supposed to reassure me?' the Marine replied with the same dry tone, shooting a questioning look to the krogan.

Wrex just laughed harder.

'Mission parameters simple. Activate hammers, summon Kalros, distract reaper, disperse cure via Shroud. Much simpler than Collector base' Mordin joined in, managing to draw a smile from the Commander.

'Yeah, tell that to our friend, there' the Lieutenant commented, motioning towards the destroyer with his rifle.

'Com'on, I'm sure that this will turn out much easier than we expect, and soon we'll be all laughing at how a giant Tresher Maw took down a Reaper. Now let's move out' Shepard said, prompting her party to get a move on.

-•-

There were no laughs when the cure for the Genophage finally dispersed in the atmosphere, only tears.  
Tears of relief, for the long yarned freedom of the Krogans.  
Tears of joy, from the mothers that would never have to know what losing a child felt like ever again.  
Tears of bittersweet happiness for a future rediscovered that was already being of sadness, anguish and anger, tears that rolled in silence from Shepard's eyes as she watched the Shroud go down in flames.  
Tears for a mentor, a friend, a father, a guide, forever lost in service of a higher purpose.  
Inconsolable tears, tears that burned and bled and scarred, tears that would never be forgotten.  
Mordin was gone, and she would never have him back.  
 **"Had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong."**  
His last words echoed in her head once more, and Valery broke down all over again.  
Little did it matter that she had accomplished the impossible, Mordin was dead and she was lost.

* * *

That day, the Hamster sat silently in his cage, carefully observing his owner from his higher point of view, and watched over her as she came undone under the weight of loss.

That day, the Hamster understood what the price of victory meant during a war.


End file.
